Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
