I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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