with your own penis?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
