that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
