so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
