It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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