I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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