this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize