Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
