She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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