This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
