spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize