i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
