When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
