is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
