some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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