How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
