were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
