is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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