Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
