If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
