People with herpes should wear stickers.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize