Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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