During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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