Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
