I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That's intense
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I need mimosas to revive my soul
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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