He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wish there were birth control emojis
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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