Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
