btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
