after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
