If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize