is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
