just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
