So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
