i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
40s are totally the cure
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
