I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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