sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
