ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize