Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
