Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
