So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
