he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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