i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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