I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have post one night stand depression
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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