i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
