Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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