Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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