Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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