Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He did a backflip because drugs
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
