I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
