he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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