"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
