It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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