Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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