# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
