I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
