my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
