We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize