Your face is a jimmy john
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
