Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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