she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
