The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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