Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
