You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i can run in heels then i can drive
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
